I recently spent a few days collecting and organizing all of my Hetalia kinkmeme de-anons in one place, which is this journal here: swyvemylife.livejournal.com/ . Hopefully I've succeeded in making it user-friendly. The new journal includes some stories I haven't posted here on DA due to brevity or sexual content, and I plan on continuing to add to it as I write/clean up more fills. So, if you're interested in my Hetalia fanfiction, feel free to look around and/or friend my fic journal!
Journals45
Newest
Tablet recommendations?
1 min read
I am thinking of asking for a new tablet for Christmas (the one I have right now is a DigiPro WP5540) and I'm wondering if any of you could give me suggestions? What are good choices, what to avoid, pros and cons of tablets you've owned, etc. Any help/comments you can give is appreciated!
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Where's all my art, you ask?
1 min read
Lately I've been posting a lot of art to my tumblr which I haven't been posting on here. Maybe I'm lazy, maybe I don't think it's "good enough" for my DA account, I don't know... but if you want to see, for example, WIPs or sketches or my art from Tegaki, you should check out my tumblr. It's not exclusively an art blog-- I also reblog memes and musical theatre stuff-- and I'm not asking anyone to follow me, just letting you know that I haven't exactly been posting everything I'm doing here.
On a personal note, I recently moved to Boulder, CO. I don't especially like it here, but I am getting used to it. I'm hoping things will start to look up once I find work... but that could take months. I've thought about offering commissions, but I also know that most everyone else is just as financially f***ed as I am. If I'm honest with myself, I keep doing art to keep myself distracted from all the negative feelings. But I'm going to keep trying, stick around, and we'll see what happens.
On a personal note, I recently moved to Boulder, CO. I don't especially like it here, but I am getting used to it. I'm hoping things will start to look up once I find work... but that could take months. I've thought about offering commissions, but I also know that most everyone else is just as financially f***ed as I am. If I'm honest with myself, I keep doing art to keep myself distracted from all the negative feelings. But I'm going to keep trying, stick around, and we'll see what happens.
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My Hetalia Fanfiction
2 min read
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New username, for one thing.
4 min read
First off, thanks a million to 
for the gift of a premium membership! I've never had one before, so I'm having hella fun with it! Also, you may have noticed that it's allowed me to change my username. My old one was something I came up with when I was, like, 15 and have wanted to change for years. My other usual internet handle was already taken, so swyvemylife it is!
As for my life currently... I didn't-graduate with a final GPA of 3.63, which was a huge surprise for me, how high it was! I attended the International Congress on Medieval Studies, the world's largest annual gathering of medievalists, where my student organization sold two of my designs as t-shirts, which sold really well:
&
I couldn't afford to take the French class I'd intended to take over the summer, but I've been teaching myself Italian instead. It's been going pretty well, as I already know Spanish and the two languages are quite similar. I'm stuck here in Michigan until my lease expires in August, but after that I will be moving out to Colorado and hopefully finding work (more than a bit nervous about that). But there are a few fun things I will be doing in the meantime--Pandora Boxx is performing at Kalamazoo Pride this year, and there's a small anime convention I'll be going to in July.I may even make it out to Yaoi-con in the fall, but I can't promise just yet! I've also been working on my anxiety disorders, and that's going well too! In short, in spite of really big choices I've made, my life isn't "ruined" yet by a long shot. If I may be gay enough as to quote lyrics by Stephen Sondheim:
I chose and my world was shaken--so what?
The choice may have been mistaken, the choosing was not!
Also forgive me as I will likely mess around with journal skins. I'm amused by this one for now (and it suits my gallery, after all), but I'm sure that won't last long.
for the gift of a premium membership! I've never had one before, so I'm having hella fun with it! Also, you may have noticed that it's allowed me to change my username. My old one was something I came up with when I was, like, 15 and have wanted to change for years. My other usual internet handle was already taken, so swyvemylife it is!As for my life currently... I didn't-graduate with a final GPA of 3.63, which was a huge surprise for me, how high it was! I attended the International Congress on Medieval Studies, the world's largest annual gathering of medievalists, where my student organization sold two of my designs as t-shirts, which sold really well:
&
I couldn't afford to take the French class I'd intended to take over the summer, but I've been teaching myself Italian instead. It's been going pretty well, as I already know Spanish and the two languages are quite similar. I'm stuck here in Michigan until my lease expires in August, but after that I will be moving out to Colorado and hopefully finding work (more than a bit nervous about that). But there are a few fun things I will be doing in the meantime--Pandora Boxx is performing at Kalamazoo Pride this year, and there's a small anime convention I'll be going to in July.
I chose and my world was shaken--so what?
The choice may have been mistaken, the choosing was not!
Also forgive me as I will likely mess around with journal skins. I'm amused by this one for now (and it suits my gallery, after all), but I'm sure that won't last long.
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I'm dropping out of graduate school.
It sucks so badly because I really do like it here. I like the subject, I like what I'm learning, I like the people I've met here. I just cannot complete the coursework. My brain can't think critically or creatively anymore. I want to blame my medications, but who can be sure? Maybe I'm just not the sort of person who can be here, who can make it. I'm having a hellish time just completing this semester. I don't think I could handle four more (to say nothing of having to teach classes).
Instead I'll be moving to Colorado in August to live with my partner. With any luck I can get a decent job based on my two undergraduate degrees, in spite of my spotty work history. I'm afraid. Grad school has left me in debt, more than I ever anticipated—and I'm not even getting a degree out of it. I need a good job to pay it off (not to mention cover the cost of my meds, and hopefully a few other changes I need to make). I want a nice, salaried job, not some hourly bullshit. I doubt that will happen. I've yet to see my life happen the way I've planned it.
I don't want to have to admit to everyone that I'm leaving. My colleagues in the program, my family, the professor who helped me immensely in undergrad to be able to get where I am today and who expected me to go on to pursue a PhD. I'm terrified of telling people. I'm ashamed of myself and I feel like a failure.
Dropping out wasn't even the first thing I'd thought to do. But I decided I'm going to avail myself of the resources that I have before I start seriously thinking stupid thoughts again. That's about the best I can say for myself at the moment.
And that's my update.
It sucks so badly because I really do like it here. I like the subject, I like what I'm learning, I like the people I've met here. I just cannot complete the coursework. My brain can't think critically or creatively anymore. I want to blame my medications, but who can be sure? Maybe I'm just not the sort of person who can be here, who can make it. I'm having a hellish time just completing this semester. I don't think I could handle four more (to say nothing of having to teach classes).
Instead I'll be moving to Colorado in August to live with my partner. With any luck I can get a decent job based on my two undergraduate degrees, in spite of my spotty work history. I'm afraid. Grad school has left me in debt, more than I ever anticipated—and I'm not even getting a degree out of it. I need a good job to pay it off (not to mention cover the cost of my meds, and hopefully a few other changes I need to make). I want a nice, salaried job, not some hourly bullshit. I doubt that will happen. I've yet to see my life happen the way I've planned it.
I don't want to have to admit to everyone that I'm leaving. My colleagues in the program, my family, the professor who helped me immensely in undergrad to be able to get where I am today and who expected me to go on to pursue a PhD. I'm terrified of telling people. I'm ashamed of myself and I feel like a failure.
Dropping out wasn't even the first thing I'd thought to do. But I decided I'm going to avail myself of the resources that I have before I start seriously thinking stupid thoughts again. That's about the best I can say for myself at the moment.
And that's my update.
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